The Slender Man Movie Review: Eight Years Too Late

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In a nondescript Massachusetts backwater, four broadly interchangeable BFFs stray during a sleepover on to a website blasting epileptic-unfriendly imagery. When one subsequently vanishes, the others begin roaming dark woods and shadowy reference libraries with torches, attempting to bargain with a figure who strikes the eye as less disturbing. Makeweight and unfinished, this Slender Man’s featureless visage mostly recalls those balls-on-sticks deployed as placeholders during the filming of effects movies.

The Slender Man is based off of a myth created by Eric Knudsen on, turning out to be one of the internet’s creepiest memes. That was before the near-fatal 2014 stabbing of a 12-year-old Wisconsin girl by ‘friends’ claiming to serve the fictional creation. The objections the victim’s father raised to the then-shooting project, and the cuts designed to both appease the relatives and secure a teen-baiting rating. But let this be known; if you thought the Boogeyman was Slender, wait until you see the film.

If you are a horror fan, you should probably see this film. It is not very good, but it is interesting to talk about what went wrong with other fans later. But if you just want to go to the movies for some entertainment, this film is not for you. The worst thing about it is the script. Things happen that are vaguely connected, but nothing actually “develops” like a movie plot should. The cinematography, especially out in the woods, is interesting, but the rest of the locations are pedestrian – and there are probably too many close ups.

On the other hand, I have seen the four lead actresses in “indie” films, and they are all very good and interesting to watch. Everyone else is forgettable. Finally, the “Slender Man” isn’t very scary, information about him is garbled and confusing (the fault of the script again), and he should never have had any close ups because he was obviously a guy in a costume – and not a very interesting costume either.

The movie was nothing compared the actual myth, the writing was lazy, the acting wasn’t too great, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend this to anyone under any circumstances. I went to see this with a friend the night after it released in theaters, and I was only actually terrified during the film twice.

When this movie releases, don’t waste your money to see it. Maybe get it from the library, but this was a waste of a Saturday night.

Oh; one more thing. When my friend and I went to order our tickets, there was ONE seizure and panic attack warning. Then at the door to the screening there was ANOTHER warning. Then as the movie began, there was A FINAL WARNING!! I THINK THEY WANTED TO GET THE POINT OUT THAT ‘SLENDER MAN’ WOULD CAUSE SEIZURES AND PANIC ATTACKS!! JUST KNOW THIS IN CASE YOU WERE INTERESTED WITH WASTING TWO HOURS!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!