Dr. Dolittle: Movie Review


Oliver Curtis, Writer

Dr. Dolittle is one of the worst movies ever made and it is one of the biggest disappointments of my life. It is safe to say almost everything about the movie is bad, and not in a funny way. It’s so awful it induces physical pain and put me in an awful mood for the rest of the night, a mood I still have not fully shaken. I’m going to address problems with this movie in two ways, from an audience standpoint, and a film making standpoint. But, before I tear this movie to shreds, I will say one good thing about it. The CGI is pretty alright, now enough compliments, let’s get to why this movie is a waste of literally everyone’s time and money.

From an audience member’s standpoint, this movie had me wanting to leave before the actual adventure started. My sister was on her phone, I was gritting my teeth, and my mom was sighing at every joke. That’s the other thing, every line in this movie is a joke or is turned into a joke, jokes that don’t even land. There is not one genuine moment in this movie that isn’t undermined by a half-baked joke that could’ve been muttered out of the slobbering lips of a three-year-old. Some jokes actually caused me physical pain and actual anger (I still haven’t decided if I will sue or not). For example, the dog played by the amazing Tom Holland had a line after a bad guy was caught at the end of the movie and said, “Someone’s been a bad boy”. I cried out in anguish and punched the arm of my chair repeatedly. This movie was sad because there were so many good actors, yet none of them turned in a halfway decent performance. Not even Robert Downey Jr.! Dr.Dolittle talked in a weird, quiet Scottish accent and I had no idea what he was saying most of the time, along with doing many other odd things that honestly made no sense to me. One last thing, they made pop culture references in this movie that shouldn’t have even been there in the first place, but they were, and they were all awful. For example, there was this squirrel character that kept talking to himself like he was Captain Kirk from Star Trek, none of it was funny, and he contributed nothing else to the movie. Now let’s see why it was a failed piece of consumer garbage.

The movie moved way too quickly but also felt like it took forever to end. The plot was rushed, which felt like so little was crammed into an hour and twenty minutes. This whole movie felt like three children took turns on a broken typewriter playing the one-word story game. Random characters would come out of nowhere usually for plot convenience and almost never mentioned again but the worst example is also my favorite part of the movie because the ridiculousness of it made me laugh hysterically. As the characters are having a conversation about how they need to keep going and not give up, it cuts to an orangutan in a pirate outfit dancing and saying something like, “oh look out, my dancing is infectious”. Then it cuts back to the main characters and he’s not even addressed; never again do we see him in the movie or is his very existence acknowledged. Although, this was on purpose which makes it even worse, and you can tell it’s on purpose because you see a picture of him in the credits. There was almost no good character development, characters just changed instantly or died. Lastly, every “lesson” that this movie is trying to teach is so in your face that it will make you want to do the opposite of it for the rest of your life.

So, in conclusion, don’t watch this movie. Don’t support it, don’t give it your money, I think everyone should just forget it even happened. Let’s just let its existence fade away. We don’t need to acknowledge this movie, so let’s do everyone that was involved with it, anyone who has or hasn’t seen it, anybody dead or alive, a favor and just not watch this movie, please.