High school brings up a whole lot of emotions, from excitement, anxiety and to the relentless focus on self-image. This time for teenagers is a pivotal developmental stage. For many students, it isn’t just about “teenage drama” like many adults seem to think. It’s the pressure from peers to conform to these unrealistic ideals.
What is self-image? What is confidence?
There are many aspects to high school years. Self-image and confidence are a crucial and important aspect of every teenager’s personal and social development. Self-image is the idea that a person has of their abilities, appearance and their personality. It is how one perceives oneself.
This mental picture we have of ourselves is a complex fabric woven from our perception of what we think we look like, what we can do- realistically or unrealistically- and who we are around others. When this image we have of ourselves is positive, it sets a stable foundation for confidence. On the other hand, when the image is negative, it can erode our self-esteem which can lead to insecurity, self-doubt and societal withdrawal.
The phrase, “Comparison is the thief of joy” is an important facet to our self-image. The idea of comparison is something that teens grapple with during adolescence. Factors like body image, academic performance and social comparisons significantly shape how teenagers perceive themselves, from the things we internalize to that subconscious fleeting thought. For example: a student who internalizes academic criticism might stray away from academic opportunities.
How does social media come into play here?
With this age of social media, people are increasingly becoming more aware of the unrealistic beauty standards that are being portrayed online. This comparison undermines confidence and contributes to negative body image. Plastic surgery and cosmetic surgery have become the norm to attain this unattainable body. Our social media feeds are curated to show perfect lives and bodies. We see influencers that have these organized routines, get these perfect grades and show their perfect lives. These are things that we internalize until we start feeling bad about ourselves.
External pressure doesn’t always come from social media—it also comes from our peers. The peer pressure that teens often face dictates everything from clothing choices to social circles. Conformity is praised and individuality is often criticized. These feelings of inadequacy from outside, if they don’t fit this mold of who they’re supposed to be, contribute negatively to our self-image.
Navigating this new life
While these pressures and feelings are valid and real, there are things that you can do to cultivate a healthier self-image:
- Focus on Accomplishments: Oftentimes, we dwell on our flaws and weakness. We get so overwhelmed by the things we didn’t achieve that we forget to celebrate the things we do gain. Acknowledging talents and skills is a huge part of building a positive self-image.
- Embrace individuality: While as a society we’re slowly moving to support individualism, there’s more work to be done. Take a step down from what others think you should wear, how you think others would want you to be and make the choice to be irrevocably you.
- Limit social media: A huge part of our negative self-image comes from the media we consume. Understand your limits and go out once in a while. Understand that what you see is a perfectly curated small aspect of a person’s life. Limit this exposure. Don’t be afraid to hit that block button on accounts that negatively trigger you. This is your scroll time, and you get to decide what type of media you want to consume.
- Don’t compare: Neither envy nor jealousy is inherently healthy or unhealthy. You’re allowed to be jealous, but our own envy should never negatively hurt others.
- Focus on Growth: Growth is a gradual process, and actions speak louder than words. Just because you say you’re going to change and begin to love yourself doesn’t mean it’ll immediately happen. Give yourself time to mourn the old you and give yourself time to grow into the new you.
Look away from the mirrors
High school is a time of self-discovery. You learn what you like; you learn who you want to be. Your self–worth isn’t defined by your appearance or external validation. Continue to love and support this body that you have because it loves you. Continue to empower others and uplift each other.
